35 Thoughts

Thoughts & Lessons from 35 Years

I have, in the last few years, began to treat my birthday similarly to the New Year. By that I mean I often sit down to reflect back and look forward. This time often becomes less about ramping up and strategizing and more about reflecting back and synthesizing — and as I am turning 35 this Sunday, I want to share some of this processing with you.

Below you will find a list of 35 thoughts on life and living. This list is not organized, ordered or exhaustive — just honest and personal. Some were learned from others and some came with high personal price-tags. Think of them as collection of ramblings from a young (can I still say that?) man that is trying to figure out this adventure called life. There’s much that I have left out, but I trust there will be some that will challenge you, encourage you and cause you to live with more joy and wonder.

1. Life is shorter than you think. Don’t assume you will always have the time to do or say the things you desire. Be intentional and present today — because it’s all you have.

2. Gratitude is often the best remedy for a “woe is me” mentality. It’s hard to stay stuck on how unfortunate your life might feel when you reflect on the good, true and beautiful around you.

3. God made this world to enjoy. Be intentional and unapologetic with your delight in good food, a captivating book, a stirring song. They are sweet gifts given to be received.

4. People need more grace than you imagine. When you think you’ve been patient, kind and gentle enough— go further and deeper. Your job isn’t to manage kindness but give it.

5. Don’t change who you are to gain brief acceptance. It’s better to remain true to how God made you than suffer the burden of pretending.

6. A way to fight against anxiety is to be present today. Worry often stems from guilt over the past or fear about the future. Live this moment well and let the chips fall where they may.

7. The grass is greenest where you water it. Contentment is less about getting that thing you think need and more about stewarding and enjoying the things you know you have.

8. If you want healthy friendships, be the friend you want. Don’t fall into the trap of “they don’t reach out” — just go and do what you want to be done for yourself.

9. Constant stimulation numbs what silence is able to heal. Turn off Netflix and the podcasts and take time to sit without noise. It is difficult but necessary for your soul.

10. Focus on controlling what you can control. Look after what you have the ability to change and don’t spend time stressing about the other stuff.

11. Humility is more attractive than strength and skill. People might be wowed by your giftedness but they will be most impacted by your humility.

12. Don’t take yourself too seriously. This world is big and you are small. God loves you but doesn’t need you. If you can’t laugh at yourself, you need to ease up and relax a bit.

13. Don’t overanalyze your every decision. Sometimes the best thing to do is trust God, choose a door and learn from it on the other side.

14. Be a Chic-fil-A, not a Jack in the Box. It’s better to offer less with higher quality than offer more with poor quality. Learn what you are good at and develop it.

15. Men, more often than not your wife needs a hug before they need a four step plan. In my experience, loving my wife is less about fixing her problems and more about sitting with her in them.

16. Giving really is better than receiving. Don’t get caught up in the culture of consumerism. There is a more profound blessing awaiting you in being generous than opening up your next Amazon order.

17. Your kids need to see you apologize as much, if not more, than they need to see you get it right. They will remember your mistakes and humility more than your successes. Teach them how to fall and fail well.

18. Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing. You don’t always need to give your opinion or your advice. Listening might do more good than speaking.

19. Build your identity on something that doesn’t shift. Opinions vary. Trends shift. People change. Even you can’t live up to your own standards. What you go to for value needs to be constant - because you and life are not.

20. Go on more walks in nature. We’re so busy on our devices and inside our offices that we miss the wild beauty of outside. A breath of fresh air and a glance at a tree will increase your joy more than another episode or post.

21. The big things in life are an accumulation of small moments. Don’t overlook the normal and mundane things of life — they add up. Be faithful, consistent and patient.

22. You often reap what you sow. This isn’t karma, it’s Biblical wisdom (Galatians 6:7) and so very simple. Plant the seeds of what you are wanting to experience and continue to water them.

23. Your table can be a portal into a new world. Yes, you read that correctly. Hospitality; having people over, treating them like family and sharing a meal together can do more than you can imagine to people’s hearts.

24. Be honest about how you are feeling. The most common response to “How are you doing” is “good” — and that is 92.5% of the time a lie (just a hunch). Be real. It might just begin to heal you and free them.

25. B.I.G. was right. “Mo money, mo problems”. If you make a lot, great, steward it well — but don’t chase after the bag — it will often create more issues and temptations than you desire. Be content with what you have.

26. Ask for feedback. You are biased about yourself. The best way to know how you are really living is to ask those around you how they experience you. It might sting, but you need to hear the truth to really grow.

27. You learn more from your scars than your trophies. Suffering and pain has continued to puncture holes in my reality and let me see things I couldn’t see otherwise. Learn from the losses — God never wastes anything.

28. Parents, you are never too busy to get on the floor and play with your kids. That task, that email, that text, it all can wait — your kids need to laugh and wrestle with their Mom and Dad in order to be healthy humans.

29. Read good stories. For the longest time I thought fantasy was a waste of time. But the truth, beauty and wonder I found reading The Lord of the Rings helped refine and reshape how I see life. As Lewis and Tolkien both said; myth can convey truth sometimes better than facts.

30. Get around people that don’t look or think like you. Social media puts us in bubbles but we learn the most when we’re with people that have different ways of seeing and living life. Life is more beautiful this way.

31. Life is so much more about who you get to do it with than what you get to do. Sharing joys together is much more satisfying than enjoying something on your own. We were created for deep relationships.

32. Celebrate the small wins. Life can get really hard. Don’t wait for the big moments to buy a cake, pop the champaign, blow up some balloons and rejoice. It will give you and others some more fuel in the tank to keep going.

33. Rest is one of the most productive things you can do. You aren’t created to keep on going. We were created to slow-down and unplug from the grind. It will help put things in the proper perspective. This world will go on spinning without you for a few hours — so take a nap and thank God for modeling this for us.

34. Don’t let growing up bury the wonder. We’re all created to be in awe of life and beauty, to be mind-blown at the mysteries around us, to see life more as an adventure than a list of tasks. Cultivate your child-like wonder and imagination — it was never meant to be traded in for a briefcase.

35. Jesus satisfies more than anything else. More than money, sex, gain, fame, retweets, size of your church, global impact, people’s applause, the most expensive steak. Our souls were created for Jesus and I have never found anything else in this world to quench the thirst and hunger other than Him. If you haven’t — try and see for yourself. You might just be surprised.

If you are still reading, bravo my friend.
I appreciate you taking your time to reflect with me.

I would love to know which of these lands on you the most?
Leave a comment below and let me know…