The Rediscovery of Pity

The Secret to Compassion

It’s not an exaggeration to say that the world is on fire (when is it not?)!
Political division that stirs up hostility between friends and neighbors.
Brutal and careless wars that leave countries utterly ravaged.
Corrupt governments that breed injustice and inequity.
Cultural wars that breed enmity and extremism.

What can we really do in times of such reckless darkness?
Are we helpless —left as a ship unchained to the waves and winds?
Is there an antidote to this sickness that can bring some healing?

I want to present to you the unassuming power of pity.
Yes, pity. A profound emotion that has been gravely misunderstood.

When we hear the word pity we often think of looking down on others.
We think superior / inferior — we think condescending.
It’s the rich person having “pity” on the poor person on the street.
Out of his “pity” he tosses a few dollars into a hat and moves on.
Outward he looks generous — inward he feels contempt for the man.

No wonder it’s often looked at as negative and unwanted.
This perspective of pity will certainly not help us in these times.
But we should not throw out pity because of our own misunderstanding.
There is something here in the rediscovery of pity that we deeply need.

To illustrate the true meaning and power of pity, I want to bring you into a story. Stories have the power of helping us rediscover reality and see old truths in new ways. The story, of course, is The Lord of the Rings. There are two specific scenes that shed profound light into the true heart of pity and why we need it more than ever in our time. Don’t worry if you are not familiar with these stories, you will not have trouble seeing the point. Let’s jump in…

Gandalf (the wise wizard) is talking to Frodo about the creature Gollum and his backstory; how he came upon the one powerful ring of the Dark Lord Sauron, how he became twisted by the ring’s power and how he sunk down into a wretched and twisted existence, alone and in utter darkness under the mountain. During this conversation, Gandalf lets Frodo know that Gollum has made known to Sauron the general location of Frodo and therefore put him in grave danger (Sauron would stop at nothing to get the ring back in his possession). As Gandalf reveals this surprising and chilling news, Frodo cries out in fear and frustration: “What a pity that Bilbo did not stab that vile creature, when he had a chance!’”

If you don’t know the story — Bilbo (an unassuming hobbit) stumbled by chance upon Sauron’s ring many years before this as he encountered the slimy creature Gollum under the mountain. After a game of riddles and Gollum becoming visibly more frustrated — Bilbo slipped on the ring and became invisible, being led to the way out by Gollum, but blocked by him in the path. Instead of summarizing the moment, I want you to read it for yourself — it’s a masterclass on the subject of pity.

“Bilbo almost stopped breathing, and went stiff himself. He was desperate. He must get away, out of this horrible darkness, while he had any strength left. He must fight. He must stab the foul thing, put its eyes out, kill it. It meant to kill him. No, not a fair fight. He was invisible now. Gollum had no sword. Gollum had not actually threatened to kill him, or tried to yet. And he was miserable, alone, lost. A sudden understanding, a pity mixed with horror, welled up in Bilbo’s heart: a glimpse of endless unmarked days without light or hope of betterment, hard stone, cold fish, sneaking and whispering. All these thoughts passed in a flash of a second. He trembled. And then quite suddenly in another flash, as if lifted by a new strength and resolve, he leaped.”

Vacillating between fighting and fleeing.
Threatened and frightened, pinned with two choices.
What shifted Bilbo’s heart from attacking to pity?

Did you catch it? It’s a hauntingly beautiful moment.
“A sudden understanding, a pity mixed with horror, welled up in Bilbo’s heart”
“..a glimpse of endless unmarked days without light or hope..”

What shifted Bilbo’s heart from fear and threat to pity was a brief but searing vision into Gollum’s life — and how miserable, hopeless and dark he was and will continue to be. Bilbo had, for a passing moment, put himself in the place of this creature. He began to see Gollum clearly — not primarily as a threat or an enemy, but as “miserable, alone, lost” — and because of this, because he saw the sorrow of his life, he showed pity to him and did not attack or kill.

This is the suprising power of pity.
It is condescending in the truest meaning of the word.
“con” = with / together + “descending” = to lower, to climb down

What an idea — that we would climb down with others in their predicament, in their dark situation, in their very real context — and when we are with them, show them deep compassion. True pity arises when we can enter the suffering of others and see life as they see it, from their perspective. True hostility and division arises when we choose not to see others, but rather look down on them, demonizing them and judging them.

This is what the good news of Jesus is all about — that He came down to us, took on our weakness, lived in our place, experienced what we experienced — and therefore had sympathy and compassion — because He saw, He knew, He felt (see Hebrews 2:18, 4:15, 5:2). He condescended — came down to be with us in order to love us and save us!

Let’s return back to the conversation with Gandalf and Frodo. Gandalf continued to talk about Gollum and the threat of Sauron knowing the location:

‘I am sorry,’ said Frodo. ‘But I am frightened; and I do not feel any pity for Gollum.’ ‘You have not seen him,’ Gandalf broke in.

Here it is again. Frodo could not well up any real pity for Gollum because he had not yet really seen him and his predicament. He had not stepped into his shoes. It’s not until he encounters him much later in the story and sees his very real wretchedness before his own eyes that he has a change of heart: “‘Very well,’ he answered aloud, lowering his sword. ‘But still I am afraid. And yet, as you see, I will not touch the creature. For now that I see him, I do pity him.’”

“For now that I SEE him, I do PITY him.”
Translation: Now that I know his suffering, I have compassion.

What if we really took time to see the people we are fighting with?
What if we took time to see the people we look down upon?
What if we got off the internet and shared a meal with them?
What if we paused to ask — “How would I act if I were in there situation?”
What if we tried to see life from other people’s perspectives?
Would not love and compassion and mercy arise…

The world is on fire.
We can either add wind to the rage and hostility…
Or we can choose to really see the people around us.

The need of the hour is love for our neighbor.
Love for the person who is not like us.
Understanding and compassion.

Reflection Moment:
Who is it for you that you need to lower yourself into their perspective to gain some understanding and compassion?

May we be a people that overflow with true pity.